It was like yesterday when Kuronoma and Kazeya, graced us with another season of their love story in Kimi Ni Todoke Season 3. But as we thought everything would be lovelier because it’s their couple season, Kazehaya’s imposter syndrome (feeling like a fraud because one believes they are incompetent) came in the way that he became distant with Kuronoma. It turns out that it’s not only Kazehaya that feels like a fraud – almost all the gang have their fair share of experiencing the syndrome. Luckily, they got each other’s back to break their lack of confidence. Unbeknownst to us, their actions reflected mental health experts’ advice on dealing with imposter syndrome. Let’s examine how the Kimi Ni Todoke gang applies those experts’ tips.
Acknowledge your successes
It must have been a powerful feeling for Sawako when she finally dodged the attack of her imposter syndrome as “not being good enough” girlfriend to Kazehaya by realizing her hard work of asking him the problem. She succeeded in confronting her boyfriend, yet Kazeya’s answer did not proceed to the benefits of confrontation, as he refused to share his problem with Kuronoma. Because of this, Sawako learned that she was not the reason for their awkward distance.
One of the experts, Dr. Kevin Kokley, suggests that it’s easier to disregard the right actions we took when battling imposter syndrome. So, he suggests that people deliberately list their positive actions to be reminded of their capabilities. In Sawako’s case, she reflected on her confrontation with Kazehaya, leading her to subtly prove to herself that she’s capable of becoming a good girlfriend.
Ask for help
We tend to experience burn-out whenever we’re experiencing imposter syndrome since we usually hustle-bustle just to prevent others from judging us that we’re incapable, shared Dr. Lisa Orbe-Austin (another expert in imposter syndrome) in the APA podcast. So, learning how to ask for help minimizes the pressures that we’re carrying. Kento Miura did this when he asked Kazehaya for advice on how to make Ayane open up. Kento humbled himself to learn from Kazehaya despite being seen as the “expert in relationships” by his batchmates. Because of his humility, Kento’s “relationship wisdom” was recharged, so he immediately returned the help to Kazehaya.
Embracing “good enough”
Accepting average results can help us minimize imposter feelings. Sawako’s dad encouraged us that “good enough” is fine when he said – to Kazehaya, “Don’t worry about trying to grow up into some extraordinary person. If you’re happy and healthy, that’s enough.”
Normalizing mistakes
After all those heart-fluttering dates and announcing their relationship status with their parents, Kuronoma was still self-conscious around her boyfriend, afraid that one wrong move would make Kazehaya leave their relationship. To ease her girlfriend’s imposter feelings, Kazehaya confidently said, “You know mistakes aren’t the end of the world. It’s okay.”
Have a growth mindset
Perhaps one of the most awaited scenes in this season is Ryu’s suave confession to Chizu. The unexpected look on the latter’s face upon hearing the confession was striking. Yet, despite the shock – Chizu managed to answer that she doesn’t see their relationship as romantic, and Ryu quickly replied, “Yeah, I know.” There is no drama until Chizu can’t handle her self-consciousness toward Ryu’s sweet moves. Like Sawako, Chizu was anxious that her relationship with Ryu would downgrade once they started dating. But because of Ryu’s growth mindset, Chizu’s confidence in dating her best friend has eventually improved. Believing that we can get better may lessen our feelings of being a “fraud.”
Final Takeaways
Handling our imposter feelings can be challenging because sometimes they come naturally to us. Hence, the above tips are not easy to follow, but being aware of them can help us begin managing our imposter feelings.
Do you resonate with which Kimi Ni Todoke gang member listed above? What is the reason for your imposter feelings? Let us know on Instagram and Twitter.
Featured Image Credit: Kimitodo_pr official twitter
